AND ANYONE WHO WELCOMES A LITTLE CHILD LIKE THIS ON MY BEHALF IS WELCOMING ME. -MATTHEW 18:5-

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Harder Than I Thought...

I definitely thought this would be easier.  So far, including our original failed private adoption, we are now up to 3 fails.  Just in the past week our profile was given to two different birth moms and they both picked other families.  I knew this would be hard, but I thought I would handle it better.  It just sure is a lousy feeling knowing that people look at you and reject you.  It's not a matter of patience right now...more of a feeling of inadequacy.  


Wednesday, January 18, 2012

And SOOOO it begins!

Tonight was the first time in a while that we finally got some news about the adoption!  I got an email from the agency saying that there is a birth mom that they are currently trying to match with a family.  They sent us her information and asked us if we would be interested in having our profile sent to her to look at.  OF COURSE WE WOULD! It's been a few months since we've been approved as an active waiting family and I pretty much assumed it would take quite some time before we would make it up to the top of the list.  As the agency said to us when we got approved, "This is the hard part.  You basically sit back and wait."

Scary AND exciting.  There is so much going on right now that I'm not quite sure I feel ready.  First off, we still have about $10,000 to come up with.  Yup, that's right...$10,000 more on top of what we already have raised.  Sheesh.  Really?  This stinks. Really, really stinks.

But it's worth it.

The second "I'm not quite sure I feel ready" reason is that we're still trying to figure out all that is going on with Brayden.  Tomorrow we go back to have our meeting to find out if they are going to diagnose Brayden with autism or not.  I honestly think they are going to say yes, but I honestly don't know if I fully agree right now.  I'm just going to wait to talk with them tomorrow and hear all they have to say before I start my judging.

Deep breaths.

Third "I'm not quite sure I feel ready" reason...I only started my new job less than 3 months ago.  How do you say, "I need time off for a new baby"? Ugh.

All this to say...this is only the first time our profile is being viewed.  There's a big possibility we won't get picked and then we are off to waiting all over again.  Then all of the above doesn't even matter :)

I have to remember that the Lord has a plan for our family.  So what should I do?  Relax....