Update...

Finally feeling better!  Up until a day or two ago I was getting nervous that I wasn't going to feel well enough to go back to work.  I had horrible cramps that went all the way up to my shoulders and couldn't really eat a lot of food.  SO thankful that I'm feeling better.  I still get tired toward the middle of the day/afternoon and I have to watch what I eat, but in general, it's truly a miracle that I feel as well as I do.  Thankful for all the prayers!  The most frustrating part of all of this is feel utterly useless.  I'm not allowed to lift more than 10 pounds for at least 4 weeks, and that means I can't pick up Brayden.  I can't put him in and out of the bath tub, I can't get him in his highchair, I can't put him in or take him out of his crib...ugh.

We're past the failed adoption...we've dealt with it and we're OK.  I just stinks.  Not really a great description of what's been going on in our heads, but I don't really know how else to describe it.  We're now back on track with our adoption packet to send out to the agency, though.  The thing holding me up is doing our family profile booklet.  I do NOT scrapbook quickly...ask Jon :).  And this is basically a scrapbook of the family.  I need to get moving on it big time!

I start back to work tomorrow.  I'm doing half days for the rest of this week.  Praying I hold up!

This is probably not the best time for me to be writing a post, but here I go.  It's 9pm, I'm sitting on my couch in pain from this surgery, and I received a message earlier that the adoption is definitely not going through.  Where do I begin?  I'm more than slightly overwhelmed at the moment and feel a large meltdown coming at some point.  I'm trying to hold it together but my emotions are getting the better of me.

Tomorrow is a new day...I have to remember that.  

WHAT A WEEK

I'm not even sure how to explain this past week.  What I can say, is that my blood pressure is probably about 50 points higher.  I will attempt to make this brief:

We had a last-minute adoption opportunity come up on Monday.  The birth mother was due in a little over 2 weeks!  I spent 4 days calling adoption attorneys and adoption agencies trying to get information about how this adoption would be able to occur with us so quickly.  We didn't have our home study completed and half our paperwork was not done.  I was scrambling all week, and then Friday night it all fell through.  It slipped out as fast as it slipped in.

Then, today, it all seemed like there was hope again.  We received a phone call that changed things again.  Now I'm sitting here having no clue what is going on.  It's a 50/50 right now.

I  always wondered how situations like this popped up for other people, and now I've been sitting here amazed that I'm the one in these shoes.  What I do know is that God has this under control.  I've come to genuinely care about this birth mother and baby and if this situation doesn't work out for us, we just pray it's the best for the two of them.  Am I stressed?  Yup.  Will I be sad?  Absolutely.  But it's OK.  

Trying to keep my head up in tough times right now.  It's been a discouraging couple of weeks with quite a few meltdowns on my part.  Luck for me, I have an amazing husband who doesn't melt down like I do and is fantastic at staying calm.  I need calmness in my life...I think I'll keep him around :)

Is it bad that I'm almost looking forward to my surgery next week just so that I have a few days of being unconscious so I can relax and get away from life?  OK, that's slightly an exaggeration...but not totally :).   I can say that I'm pretty nervous though.  I'm supposed to be taking 3-4 weeks off of work and I'm only taking one due to money...eek!  PRAYING for a fast recovery, both physically and mentally.

We are still waiting on some paperwork to come back to complete our home study packet.  Jon got his FBI fingerprinting back at the beginning of this week, but I haven't.  Did I do something I didn't realize?  Maybe I robbed a bank while sleepwalking or something?

Chugging along...

Fun with Family

Had a great time this past weekend spending time with family.  Brayden had some time with his cousins, who he doesn't get to see as often as we'd like.  He seems to love hanging out with kids about 3-6 years old.  He just ran in circles around the kitchen island being chased by them...screaming with joy!  I can't say that it was a QUIET weekend, but we're still looking forward to adding another child to the mix of craziness!