Healing through tears

Things lately have gotten a little overwhelming.  We've been dealing really well with the normal stresses of adoption plus an almost two year old entering his terrible two's and my husband being in school full-time plus trying to do side jobs for extra income...but things seem to hit all at once, don't they?  First I found out I need surgery, then I found out I might need to look for a  new job, and then my husband found out about some additional problems he's facing.  I was proud of myself the past few days for being so calm and fairly upbeat...then I listened to this song tonight and sort of lost it:  

I really needed to hear this song.  I think I'll need to continuously listen to it over the next few weeks...or months...as we continue to try and raise money for the adoption, as I decide if a new job is needed, as I make a decision on if I should go through with surgery or not, and as Jon deals with healing himself.  Life has hit us hard right now.  But I know my problems are nothing compared to those of others.  I need see the blessings in the raindrops.

Reminder

Just wanted to put out a quick reminder for those of you who were planning on helping us fund the adoption by placing a TASTEFULLY SIMPLE order online!  My house party in July 8th, but for those who live too far away or can't make it, my friend Kara (TS consultant who is donating ALL HER PROFITS from the party!!) made it easy to order online!  Her website address is:

 www.tastefullysimple.com/web/kcoleman1 

and when you go to check out just sign in under my name as the "host".  Thank you so much!!!  If you have further questions please feel free to email me! 

Working on our family profile...

and I think it's what is going to be the death of me!  I bet some of you are saying, "Good grief!  What's the big deal?".  Yeah, I know.  But I feel like it's the biggest deal ever.  Ha I sound like an 8th grader talking about what to wear to school.  The fact is, I'm nervous that if I don't make it look and sound good enough that we will never get picked by a birth mom.

Typing that and then reading it back makes me feel a little dumb...

I'm sitting here trying to write some amazingly worded novel and pick out the best pictures to "showcase" our family...getting mad at myself for not being a better photographer and writer.  What is wrong with me?  I just sat in this same room talking with my aunt not more than 4 hours ago about how God has it all under control and He amazes us with His miraculous plans, and now I'm stressing out over how my smile is crooked in a picture.

OK Amanda, just finish it, press the print button, and be done with it.  Yup, that's what I need to do.

Is it what I'm GOING to do? Honestly, probably not.

Sharing the Crazy Life

It's amazing how many people I have come across lately that are also going through either the adoption process or becoming a foster parent.  Maybe it's that I just never paid attention before?  Was I walking through life with my eyes closed?  Very possible.  Very likely.  I've spent a large portion of my life with my eyes closed to most things...politics, finances, the difficulties of motherhood, poverty around the world, the orphan crisis.  All such heavy subjects, but I ignored even the basics.  I've been too indifferent.

I can't be indifferent anymore!  God can yell in your ear for quite some time, but at some point you just can't keep ignoring it without going nuts.  Well,  here I am.  My "indifference meter" has surged past the critical mark and now I'm trying to make up for lost time.  Sheesh...what a whirlwind.

So help me, OK?  Help me educate others on this crazy life called orphan care and adoption.  Most people admit they have no idea what is involved, what the costs are, what children need homes, where the children are from, how difficult the process is, how in NEED of families the world is.  I was one of those who had no idea.  I had SOME idea, just not enough.  I now want to be part of getting others as excited for adoption and foster care as I am.

Here is how you can help!
1.  Send this blog on to others!  Email it, post it to your FB, tweet it...whatever!
2.  Give my email to someone who may be battling with the fears or frustrations of adoption...or, someone who is interested but confused?
3.  Feel free to post comments with questions that everyone could benefit from!
4.  Help your church get excited about orphan care...it is vital.
OR...let me know what I can do for you!

Adoption Tab

I just updated the adoption tab for anyone that is looking for resources on adoption.  I hope this can be helpful for those needing more information.  I plan to keep updating it on a continual basis, so check back for more!

Back to the Daily Grind

We're back from Charleston!  It was a great 9 days that were very much needed.  We were able to relax and have some fun - away from work and the stresses of life.  Unfortunately, I brought our adoption paperwork with us and did NONE of it!  

So now I'm behind...very behind.  So much to do!  The most time consuming is going to be finishing our family profile and writing our autobiographies.  I also need to get our child abuse clearances sent out and our medical evals are this coming week.  I'm still aiming to have all the paperwork done by the end of June!

Brayden was a real trooper this week.  He was up earlier than usual, to sleep later than usual, and in the car a LOT.  Poor little guy is exhausted, but, we think he had a good time!  One of the things he has a difficult time with (due to his sensory processing disorder) is transitioning...so, bringing him to a new place with a new room, new people, and completely different schedule...well, not the easiest thing for him!  It only took two days to get him in the ocean though, so that wasn't bad!  By mid-week he became scared of showers and baths though.  Not quite sure where that came from.  He also freaks out now when we bring him into a bedroom...any bedroom...and changing his diaper had become a circus act.  Hopefully the transition back home will be quick and easy.

Updated Tabs

Photography link has been updated!  Still working out some glitches, but it's getting there!  Click on the tab above and there will be a link to my "flickr" account.  Let me know what you think!

"Under Construction"

For those of you curious about my new "tabs" for adoption and photography, I'm hoping to get them up and running soon.  I'm working on setting up a Flickr account right now, and once it's up and running I'll be adding a link so you're able to view some of my favorite photos I've taken.  The adoption tab will hold links and information for those who are interested in adoption or simply looking for more information about it.  I'll let you all know when I've made some progress! (SOON!)

Busy Week

Sorry I have been absent for so long!  It's been quite the busy week around here.  We are currently on vacation! (A VERY much needed one!)  We had to go south to attend a wedding of a relative so we turned it into a  "vacation" and we are staying in a townhouse with some relatives down south.  I spent most of the week trying to get things organized and packed, which took up all of my evenings after work.  All of Thursday was then spent in the car.  We left at 8am and didn't get to our destination until 11:15pm (after a short break to visit some more relatives that we never get to see...which was a great time!).  So now we are finally HERE:

Beautiful, isn't it?  I enjoyed some time tonight just walking around taking some pics.  My laptop can't quite edit pictures as well as my desktop at home, but you get the idea :).  Excited to go to the beach tomorrow!!

Saturday's Market

So this weekend was pretty successful.  Jon took all of our "unwanted" stuff over to the Saturday's Market (local flee market) yesterday and today and we got about $280 for it all!  Not bad considering what we were selling :).    We are $280 closer!

Needs and Wants

I have a long list of things that I've learned since starting this adoption process.  I'd like to think it's really changing me for the better (which was needed!).  One thing has really stood out in my mind.  How many times have I heard myself say that I really NEED something?  Likely, I've said it on a daily basis...and probably multiple times a day at certain points in time.  How much of it do I actually NEED?  Not much of it.

It's amazing how our culture has grown to believe we are entitled to things...like cable TV and internet and cell phones.  We've been sucked into the thought process of "got-to-have".  In the process of trying to save for this adoption we have repeatedly gone through our monthly bills to find where we can cut back.  At first I thought it wasn't possible.  I even made us take a full month and write down every single thing we spent money on to see where it went to.  It was amazing! Some things were quite obviously unavoidable, but we sure found that we really wasted away quite a bit...silly things like coffee from the local Sheetz, grabbing Taco Bell when we didn't feel like grocery shopping, or grabbing something random from K-Mart.  We don't need those things.  They are just convenient.

I've started to avoid going to the mall these days simply because I get dragged in by all the STUFF.  I see it, then I want it and convince myself I NEED it.  Yes, my clothes are getting slightly run down.  Yes, they don't all fit me since having Brayden.  Yes, I might look "better" to those who see me if I get the new style out.  No, I don't need it.

Other things I've caught myself saying:
*I need a new house because mine is too small.  (No, I have a roof over my head with air conditioning and heat!  It may be cluttered because of Brayden's stuff, but so what?)
*We have no food in this house. (Yes we DO.  It just might not be what I want at that moment in time.)
*We need chairs for our back porch. (Really, Amanda?)
I could go on and on....

Do I sound nuts?  Probably to some of you.  I've just seen and heard too many stories from the TRULY poor.  Those in third world countries that have nothing.  They don't complain.  They give freely to others even the minimal that they have.  They help each other on a daily basis.  They appreciate the small things.  They open their house to strangers and feed them when they don't have much to give.  We can all learn from the poor.  I think of the children in orphanages who sit on their beds and do nothing...have nothing.  What gives me the right to complain?  I'm blessed beyond measure.  I've been provided all I need.

In the times we really do NEED, (like coming up for the money for this adoption!) God has provided. We have been blown away by how He is making this possible.  We doubted, and we are being proven wrong on a daily basis.  I love that I'm wrong :).

More Fundraising!

Just dying to know how you can help us? Read your mind, huh?  I knew it! :) We still have quite a bit of money left to raise, so here are two more fundraisers we are working on:

#1...For all you locals, Jon will be at the Saturday's Market in E-town THIS Saturday with a table set up selling our fantastic "junk".  Everything from a flat-screen computer monitor to a chicken rotisserie :) will be on our table! Come on out and take a look!

#2...My friend Kara, who is a "Tastefully Simple" consultant, has so GENEROUSLY offered to donate ALL OF HER EARNINGS from a TS party that I host!  For those of you who live way too far away from me to come to this, but still want to help, have no fear!  You can order on-line!  She will soon be getting me the website address where you can just log on and order yummy food from her and the profits will go to our adoption.  Kara, you are fantastic!  Stay tuned, or email me directly for more information!

Here are a few of my practice pictures like I promised.  I'm really enjoying it!  Can't wait for vacation next week so I'll have a good 9 days to just shoot away!

                                         

HOME STUDY: Part 1

Tonight we had our first meeting with the agency that will be doing our home study....and....it went WELL!  Why the worry?  This is likely to be my constant battle, over and over, throughout this process.  Where does worry get except at the drug store buying Tums?  Our social worker is fantastic.  Period.  That was my biggest fear...that we would get a tyrant that only cared how much money we had in the bank and how politically correct our answers were.   She was actually the exact opposite, so all I can say is thank you Lord!  We only have to do one more meeting with her and that will be at our home walk-through.

The negatives? (Doesn't there always have to be one...or two?).  We now have a new heaping pile of paperwork to do on top of the ones we already have for the other agency.  EEK.  Two?  We are $1750 poorer.  Oh well, what is a few more PB&J sandwiches for dinner going to hurt, right?  Beans and rice?  Blue box mac and cheese?

PHOTOGRAPHY

As some of you know, I'm really starting to get into photography.  What a great way it is to capture your life!  As we entered the world of parenthood I decided to commit myself to documenting their lives on camera.  I love the pops of color in a garden, reflections of light in the eyes of a child, and they way a picture can tell a story without needing words.  Up until recently I was a "point and shooter" and crossed my fingers that something came out half decent. I've just started to experiment around with my "manual mode" (ooooo scary!) over the past few months and found it both frustrating and rewarding.  Sometimes I'll download my pics up onto my computer to edit them and go, "wow, how did I manage to get that awesome shot?", and then other days I'll sit in annoyance and want to throw my camera out the window.  Unfortunately, my only subject right now is a 20-month old little speedster who takes off down the backyard in 1/2 a second after he's placed his feet on the back porch.  Half of my shots are of his diapered rear-end!  If I attempt his pictures indoors he looks at me and runs towards the camera to place his face directly against the lens!  Hmm, predicament.  

So, I've resorted to practicing my skills with non-moving objects :).  I'm hoping to post some pics up soon of our trip to Longwood Gardens this past weekend.  For those of you who hate pictures of still-life, sorry for the snoozer!  Hopefully I'll get some opportunity soon to practice on  MOVING objects too.  As you follow along on our adoption journey I'm also looking forward to sharing my growth as a photographer (I use that term VERY loosely!).  

For any of you out there that actually are photographers, I'm taking tips and suggestions, critiques and expertise!  Feel free to share your knowledge and experience...not only would I love to hear it, but I'd be super appreciative! 

Peacefulness

 I just LOVE the beauty of nature (hate the bugs though!). There is something about being outside surrounded by the forest and flowers that calms me. It's truly my favorite place to be and just sends me to a whole different word. I haven't gotten enough of that lately, that's why I'm so excited that Jon and I are going to Longwood Gardens tomorrow for our anniversary get-away-day...wine and jazz festival surrounded by the gardens.  What could be better!? We SOO need it! Life has become nuts between his school-work, me working, and our trying to get this adoption stuff going (not to mention Brayden giving us 3 straight nights of tortuous sleeping/lack-there-of!).

Our backyard is sure nothing to speak of, but I just loved these shots I took the other day of our "garden".  Can't wait to share some pics of Longwood with you!

                              SUGAR SNAP PEAS!! (can't wait to eat these!)

                                                            BASIL

                                              LOVE OUR ROSE BUSHES!

                                     FUN NEW FLOWERS WE JUST PLANTED

                                 DON'T KNOW WHAT THESE ARE CALLED :)

My "TO DO" List:

1. Finish Home Study application
2. Get copies of birth certificates
3. Get copies of marriage license
4. Copy last year tax returns
5. Get 3 reference letters!!
6. Get medical evals for all 3 of us
7. Copy drivers licenses
8. Insurance cards
9. Criminal, child abuse and domestic violence background checks
10. Finish application and agreement forms for adoption agency
11. Finish "family profile" to send to agency

....and we haven't even started our home study yet...phew!